Killing is Loving
by x se
Summary: Gaara finds a summoning scroll… And uses it in the middle of the village. Gaara x Manda x Shukaku CRACK GaaManShu ONE SHOT


Killing is loving

Notes: Do not flame if your reason is something like: "Dude, that's tarded. You're tarded. Guffaw."  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Sabaku no Gaara was walking down the street of Sunagakure no Sato, Village Hidden in the Sand, when he noticed something was in a nearby alley, something that didn't quite belong. Curious and bored, the Jinchuuriki of the great Ichibi, Shukaku, walked over to it. He raised an eyebrow upon seeing what it was. A scroll. Perhaps one of the Otonin that had been visiting to work out some kind of "plan" with the Kazekage had dropped it. His interest piqued, Gaara walked over to the scroll and picked it up.

Gaara nearly dropped it in shock. The scroll… It was a summoning scroll, and not just _any_ summoning scroll, the summoning scroll of the snakes. Smirking, Gaara vanished in a swirl of sand and appeared on his favorite place, the rooftop on which he killed his fisrt assassin, and his uncle, Yashamaru.

"So… I must sign it in blood…" said Gaara after a few moments, wondering who "Yakushi Kabuto," "Mitarashi Anko," and "Orochimaru" were. Their names were on the scroll after all. However, he did not notice the warning in small text: 'May release alter-egos and/or Bijuu from Jinchuuriki if the seals are even _slightly_ off. Also, summons may turn into human-like beings when sexually aroused or emotional, if summoner is the one causing those emotions and/or feelings.'

Obviously to anyone who read the fine print, the snakes didn't want weird people using the summoning scroll. How ironic. So far, only names weird people were on the scroll. Except Yakushi Kabuto. He's not weird.

Gaara smirked as he looked at the scroll, reading every little bit, save the small text which he passed over exactly twelve times. Gaara also learned a way to cause himself pain. However, if the sand stopped him… He'd be eating sand. Hesitantly, Gaara put his thumb near his mouth and bit. He tasted something coppery, something… Metallic. He was bleeding

Grinning, Gaara signed his name on the summoning scroll and looked at the blood still dripping from his thumb. Gaara scanned the scroll one last time and did the hand seals in perfect order, and perfectly executed, except for one tiny thing… On the very last seal, his finger was extended instead of not being extended, and thus, he made a mistake…

"_Kuchiyose no Jutsu_!" exclaimed Gaara, slamming his fist into the ground, causing an enormous amount of smoke to appear. Gaara felt himself rising into the air and felt something being sucked from inside of him.

When the smoke cleared, Gaara first realized he was on something big. And it was purple. And the big purple whatever had crushed a lot of buildings and killed some people. And there was someone who looked just like him, had Shukaku's eyes, dark brown hair, tanuki ears and a tanuki tail sitting next to him. Gaara stared. The person stared.

"Hey Gaara! I'm out of you!" exclaimed the person happily, jumping up and down. "FREE TO BE ME!"

"…" Gaara raised an eyebrow. What had he summoned?

"You fool, I'm Shukaku!" exclaimed the person. "Most of my power's in you, but I don't care! I'm FREE!"

"So… I didn't summon you…" muttered Gaara, looking down at the purple surface he was standing on.

"Who daresssssss to sssssssummon me…?" hissed a voice. Gaara smirked, and realized he was on the head of the snake he had summoned.

"I, Sabaku no Gaara, did. And who are you?" asked Gaara.

"I'm Manda, bossssssssssssss of the sssssssnakesssssss…" hissed the giant snake summon. **"Sssssssincccccccce you ssssssssssummoned me, you have to give me sssssssssssacrificessssssssss, or I'll kill you."**

hissed the giant snake summon. 

"You can have the village." said Gaara. Manda stopped moving and his impressive aura vanished.

"R-Really…?" whispered the snake, though his voice was so loud normally it was easily heard.

"YEAH!" exclaimed Shukaku happily, jumping up and down. "KILLING IS GOOD!"

"It makes us alive…" added Gaara quietly. The giant snake sniffed and tears streamed out of its eyes.

"You're the besssssssssssssssssst…" And with that said, the giant snake killed everyone in Sunagakure, spitting on the Kazekage at the request of Gaara and Shukaku. Buildings were knocked over, schools were destroyed, then their remains squished, and even after that, there were enough solid people for Manda and Shukaku to feast upon. Thankfully for them, Kankuro, Temari, and Baki were away on some mission, and they got to live. **"Now what…?"**

And with that said, the giant snake killed everyone in Sunagakure, spitting on the Kazekage at the request of Gaara and Shukaku. Buildings were knocked over, schools were destroyed, then their remains squished, and even after that, there were enough solid people for Manda and Shukaku to feast upon. Thankfully for them, Kankuro, Temari, and Baki were away on some mission, and they got to live. 

"Who do you want to kill?" asked Gaara. "Anyone at all?"

"You… You care about _my_ feelingsssssssssss?" hissed Manda. Gaara nodded and Shukaku began jumping up and down again.

"Of course we do! YOU'RE THE BEST GUY EVER!" exclaimed Shukaku, landing on his stomach and hugging one of Manda's scales. "I LOVE YOU!"

"… What he said…" mumbled Gaara.

There was a large poof of smoke once more and Gaara and Shukaku landed in it.

"Is he gone…?" whispered Gaara, his eyes wide.

"THIS CANNOT BE! AND JUST WHEN I WAS FREE TO DO WHATEVER I WISHED, THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD VANISHED!" exclaimed Shukaku in a growling version of Gaara's angst voice.

"… I can always summon him again…" said Gaara quietly.

"This will be no need for that." And then, the smoke cleared. And in a black kimono was a man with dark lavender skin. His eyes were yellow and slitted, and his hair was purple. He had small two horns coming out of each side of his head, and small fangs were poking out of his mouth. "I am right here… You two… I can say that I actually… Care, for you, unlike anyone else who has ever summoned me…"

Shukaku's eyes turned into hearts, whereas Gaara's "ai" tattoo turning into a heart. They both stared at Manda and ran at him.

"MANDA-KUUUUUUN!" exclaimed Shukaku, while Gaara yelled: "Manda-kun!"

* * *

Temari stared at her former home. She dropped her fan, and Kankuro set down Karasu and sighed. Baki was praying for his fallen comrades.

"I guess Gaara finally lost it…" said Temari, looking at a destroyed fruit vending cart, blood splattered everywhere.

"But it's settled now." added Kankuro, staring at the remains of a building.

"Either that, or he's left." muttered Baki darkly.

"Shall we check for survivors, Baki-sensei?" asked Kankuro. Baki nodded.

The group traveled far and wide, through former markets and shops, and there were no survivors. None at all. Or so they thought…

The group consisting of Temari, Kankuro and Baki had arrived at the house of the sand siblings. It was untouched. Curious, Temari made her way to the bedroom of Gaara, and was followed by Kankuro and Baki.

"Manda-kun…" murmured an eerily familiar voice. The three opened the door and their jaws dropped. There was Gaara, clutching a man with lavender skin. And also clutching that man was a half-Gaara that looked kind of like a tanuki.

"Manda-kun…" murmured the half-Gaara.

"Shu-chan, Gaa-chan…" murmured the lavender skinned man with horns.

"… Let's leave them alone…" suggested Baki.

"Y-yeah…" agreed Temari. Kankuro simply nodded.

A week later, Konoha had two new Genin, a Jonin and the Sound was defeated thanks to the advance info given to them by said Genin and the Jonin. Gaara, human-Manda and the half-Gaara, Shukaku, were never seen again… But then, no one ever checked Gaara's bed, did they?

END


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